Film Review — "Suitable Flesh"
“It is true that I have sent six bullets through the head of my best friend, and yet I hope to shew by this statement that I am not his murderer.”
— “The Thing on the Doorstep” by H.P. Lovecraft
Right after I finished Suitable Flesh, I dashed to my bookcase and grabbed The Thing on the Doorstep and Other Weird Stories so I could re-read the story that this movie’s based on. As far as page-to-screen translations go, this one is pretty keen, making swaps and tweaks that make sense in the grand scheme. We should expect no less from screenwriter Dennis Paoli, who also adapted Re-Animator, From Beyond, Castle Freak, Dagon, and the “Dreams in the Witch House” episode of Masters of Horror—all directed by the incomparable Stuart Gordon. While directors like John Carpenter and Lucio Fulci certainly took inspiration from H.P. Lovecraft over the years, Gordon reigns as adaptateur suprême—thanks in large part to Paoli, I’m sure. No one will ever top Gordon’s contributions to Lovecraftian cinema, of course, but Joe Lynch shows that he may be a worthy successor, albeit of an another ilk, if he keeps at it.
Lynch foregoes the gooeyness of the earlier adaptations here, but then again “The Thing on the Doorstep” doesn’t really call for it. It’s not one of the ones about an inter-dimensional entity from a slimier realm colliding with our own. Instead, it’s about body-usurpation, and I’m glad that the movie doesn’t get too bogged down in the weeds about the “how” of it all. Lynch and Paoli lay enough foundation to assuage disbelief and then just sort of carry on with the show. They don’t dig that deeply into the book of magic symbols (if you know, you know) or the incantation stuff. Just being aware of all that in the abstract is all we really need to enjoy the ride, which cruises at a brisk pace and allows the cast to flex throughout.
For Heather Graham, Suitable Flesh is a fabulous return to form and a great reminder of her star power. I grew up watching Graham shine in genre films like Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, From Hell, and Scream 2 (obviously), so it’s nice to see her front and center once again. Thanks to all the mind-switcharooing going on, she gets to deliver a multifaceted performance. Graham shifts her mannerisms and speech patterns appropriately, depending upon who’s in Dr. Elizabeth Derby’s body at any given moment, and makes her oscillating affectations discernible yet sensible. The same goes for her co-star Judah Lewis, thankfully. Neither actor over-enunciates, so to speak, when embodying the other, which feels correct here. Body-swap movies are rife with actors playing up the singularities of their counterpart, usually for the purposes of humor, but the tone of this film doesn’t call for that. Lewis and Graham instead demonstrate skillful self-control while navigating the unearthly nature of the story.
Barbara Crampton is wonderful as well, but that’s no surprise. Beyond Suitable Flesh, I adore Crampton because she bridges two of my interests: horror movies and soaps. When she returned to Y&R last year, as nosy gossip reporter Leanna Love, to stoke conflict at Genoa City’s bicentennial gala, I nearly died. Crampton is such a delight, and her commitment to being a cosmic horror queen warms my crusty heart. Hell, I want her to act in an adaptation of every major Lovecraft story. To make this happen for me for her, and for the sake of economy, maybe we should bring back anthology vehicles like The Barbara Stanwyck Show so she can play a different part in a new story every episode. In other words, on Barbara Crampton Presents (working title), each half-hour entry would be a separate Lovecraft tale with Crampton in a prominent role. Several eps would need to be liberally reshaped (if you know, you know…), but that’s okay (and probably for the best anyway).
As good as all the actors are—Bruce Davidson is superb, too, in his minor role—Joe Lynch doesn’t rely on them (or the script) to do all the heavy lifting. Lynch designs shots to enhance the narrative and elevate the on-screen talent. Critics who believe that a camera ought not draw attention to itself are gonna have a bad time. I, however, am a staunch member of the opposition: I love when filmmaking leans fully into visual storytelling mode. (The sheer number of so-called film enthusiasts who are anti-cinema bewilders me.) So, I’m pleased to report that Joe Lynch’s camera is completely alive. It doesn’t just move—it tilts, it twirls, it splits [the diopter of the lens], etc. This is especially true during scenes in which characters are forming the beast with two backs (or, in non-Shakespearean language: fucking). After all, there’s no better way to test-drive a body, is there?
Suitable Flesh may not scream Lovecraft upon first glance—at least not in the way “Lovecraftian” films like Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness or Fulci’s City of the Living Dead do—but Joe Lynch has definitely whetted my appetite. I want more! I’m curious what cosmic visions he has up his sleeve. I’d be interested in seeing his version of something like “Pickman’s Model” or “The Hound” or “The Rats in the Walls”, but I’m honestly game for anything. If Lynch were to do more tales with an Arkham Sanitarium connection, he could create an Arkham universe. The ASU! That’d be neat… Just be sure to bring Heather Graham, Bruce Davidson, and Barbara Crampton along, Joe! Judah Lewis can also come, if he’s cool. Or, better still, Lynch could be the series director for Barbara Crampton Presents. There. Solved it. Everyone benefits.
P.S. Johnathon Schaech is very hot in this. I cannot let that go unmentioned.
P.P.S. Hey, Joe Lynch, don’t forget about Johnathon Schaech. Cast him in more stuff. That chest needs to stay booked and busy.
P.P.P.S. I’ve just returned from IMDb, where I learned that Johnathon Schaech played Harry Houdini in a 1998 TV-movie, and this poster is DOING THINGS to me. Send help! And lube!!!
